What am I doing with my life?

wtf_am_i_doing_with_my_life

Image: Raggamuffin

This is quite a different blog post for me as it’s neither book or bake related but is much more of a personal post. It’s been sat in my drafts for a while and I didn’t know if I wanted to publish it or just write it for some sort of catharsis.

Since turning 40 in October 2014 I’ve actually started to feel that life is passing me by and I’m just sitting on the periphery watching it happen and more importantly letting it.

Four years ago I completed a law degree which I’d studied for over four years part-time, whilst working full time and doing all the usual housey stuff and supervising a teenager. Whilst I never thought I’d walk into a legal position straight away I did rightly or wrongly assume that I would find something…apparently not! Four years on and I’m still in the same job I’ve been doing for the past eight years; a job that whilst is stable and secure bores me rigid with no chance of career progression or a pay rise.

I feel young enough to still feel ambitious and still want a new challenge but to actually get to interview stage is becoming increasingly impossible…I still want for more, I want to have a more challenging role, I’d like to earn more than I do but on the flipside I’m aware that I should be grateful for being in a full time stable role but….

I’ve resigned myself to the fact that I’ll never have a career in the law. I’m single, I have financial commitments and my current job whilst isn’t well paid by any stretch of the imagination pays me slightly too much that I can’t take a salary decrease to take an entry level legal position

Sorry if this post comes across as whiny and negative but this is something I needed to get off my chest …..and isn’t that what our blogs are for, regardless of our themes and intentions.

Never have I felt until now that the decisions and paths we take when we’re younger have such an effect on us later in life. So where do I go from here? That’s the $64,000 question…

If anyone has ever been in this situation, or has any advice please comment πŸ™‚

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8 thoughts on “What am I doing with my life?

  1. Tracey Book Lover says:

    Speaking from the perspective of someone slightly more than 10 years older I’d say please don’t give up on your goal of a career change. I can understand how demotivated you feel but try & keep looking for that dream job. One thing’s for sure if you give up on it, it will never happen. If you keep trying you just never know. X

    Liked by 1 person

  2. shazjera says:

    I feel your frustration Lindsay. You’re obviously feeling despondent (and yes, that’s what blogs are for – I’d like to think we have a fab network that support each other).

    I don’t really have any advice for you. I changed my career when I was 37, starting at the bottom and taking a pay cut (but we have two salaries coming in which is just as well really with Uni funding for eldest etc).

    I don’t know how you feel about ‘abundance mentality’ and positive thinking. Maybe this will help you out of the mental rut and an opportunity will come your way. Although not in the form you think it will!

    I wonder if your creativity (baking!) has you yearning too. Often we forget things that bring us happiness, too busy on just surviving.

    I hope the urge to change translates into the real world for you.
    x

    Liked by 1 person

    • bookboodle says:

      Thank you Shaz. I do really appreciate your thoughts and positivity and you’re absolutely right about forgetting about happiness and survival. I guess because we/I spend so much time at work you want that to make you happy too x

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Claire | Art and Soul says:

    Don’t worry, I don’t see this as you being negative at all – I’m sure we’re all very glad you got that off your chest rather than bottling it up.

    Being annoyingly practical (which might not be what you wanted – ignore me if so!), is there any way to monetize your blog/blogging activities? I have no idea how to do this, but I think there are bloggers who manage to earn a modest second income… If any of them are reading this perhaps they can share their wisdom?

    I’m just trying to think of a way to make up an income shortfall if you were to switch to an entry level legal position. I hate the idea of you being bored every day when you’re clearly a highly-qualified, creative person whose skills and experience are woefully under-used in her current position.

    A couple of other ideas… You could consider doing a post here which your CV and geographical job-search area and we could all share it far and wide? You might be exactly the person someone is looking for! And, you may have done this already, you could register with recruitment agencies to see if they can take some of the work out of finding you a new job?

    Sorry if that’s all spectacularly unhelpful. I worked some truly soul-eroding jobs in Spain (at one point I wasn’t even being paid) and I know it can make you want to just give up on everything. If we can help you in any way, please just shout πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    • bookboodle says:

      No, that’s not unhelpful at all Claire, all very good advice thank you. Yours, and the comments above made me feel quite emotional! πŸ™‚

      To monetise your blog, you have to be self-hosted (ie transfer to .org) I can do this but I’ve been a bit chicken about making the jump! Maybe now’s the time and see what can become.

      I am registered with one recruitment agency but I hardly ever hear from them, I should look at other alternatives.

      I need to get my head together and be more like Dory from Finding Nemo…rather than just keep swimming, trying! πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  4. TheGirl says:

    Sounds like you need to take a risk and change something. You’re still at your job because its “secure” something that safe and mundane…I made somewhat of an overnight decision to quit my job and move to London to start a PhD program. It was risky, but I’m here…and now I have ample opportunities to jump start my career again. But it started with taking a risk. Making a change and knowing that things are going to be uncomfortable for a while.

    Liked by 1 person

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